When I was a little girl
there was an old man that lived next door. He was a widower and his wife died
many years before we moved into our house. When I was born he brought my mom a
rose from his rose garden. Ironically roses are my favorite flower, especially
red ones. I used to watch him from my back yard. He would hand wash all his
clothes and hang them up to dry; he never did own a washing machine. He took
great care of his flower garden and would be out there working in it almost
everyday. I remember him hand watering his lawn for hours at a time. He had the
best, most thick luscious lawn of anyone I have ever met, even now. I loved to
watch his mannerisms as well - he was a gruff man, hardly ever smiled. He was a
retired old middle school teacher, but you couldn’t tell if he liked children
at all because he would get after the children in the neighborhood, especially
if they where even standing for a minute on his lawn. His voice was deep and
scruffy so all the children in the neighborhood were afraid of him and even
most of the adults.
I am one who doesn’t get
leery of someone unless the spirit tells me otherwise. I was a curious child
and loved to watch people. People would often accuse me of starring at them and
I was. I loved to watch their mannerisms, their behaviors etc. I didn’t realize
that my gifts were drawing me to do this; I didn’t know why I stared and why I
liked to watch people. I love people! As I watched my neighbor I saw that he
did the same thing almost at the same time everyday in the same order that he
did them. By watching him it made me realize that he was lonely, he never had
any children and the only family member that was still alive was a brother that
lived across town and once a month he would get into his ‘63 Chevy and drive
across town to visit him.
One day after watching him, I
got brave and asked him to come push me in my swing (that’s just how I roll).
He was surprised, which made me happy inside. He immediately stopped what he
was doing and came over, took off his gardening gloves and started to push me
on the swings. He was smiling. He even laughed at one point and I had never
seen him do this. So every time I was outside and wanted to swing, I would ask
him to come push me and he would. I
could feel that he loved that I wasn’t afraid of him and that I cared enough about
him to ask.
So it started a trend in my
house, we started inviting him over for ice cream, and once in a while I would
go to his house and just sit and visit with him. He had a piano in his house
that he loved, it was his wife’s and I played Twinkle Twinkle little star on
the piano for him. I remember his face as I played, like I was playing a master
piece. I could feel that he was grateful that I shared my talent with him. He
started to make it inviting like a grandpa would do and he would wrap candy up
into a piece of tissue and put a rubber band around it taken from his news
papers and then put them on a cookie sheet and put them by the door so that
when I came to say hi he would give me the wrapped up candy.
My friends in the
neighborhood who where afraid of him came with me to get candy and to their
surprise he was smiling and nice! Once day I came into his backyard without
asking while he was out working in his garden, he scolded me and said that I
was never allowed in his yard without asking. So instead of getting scared and running
away, I closed the gate and peeped in the hole in the gate, and then knocked. I
could see him chuckle and smile and he said I could come in.
When I grew up and moved
across town, we kept in touch and one day one of the neighbors called and said
that his news papers where piling up on his front porch and maybe we should go
check on him. Really? We live across town! Still, people where afraid of him.
So my parents went over and looked in his back window to his back door and saw
his leg in the dinning room on the floor. He had been there for four days
dehydrated and he had had a stroke, but he was alive. So my family took care of
him, hired nurses to come in and take care of him till he died. In his will he
willed me his piano.
I think often we take each
other for granted, misunderstand each other and don’t see that our own fears
keep us from the most precious gift of all, our own self worth. I loved to
watch people when I was young not because I was judging them but because people
are beautiful creatures, the neatest and best creature God has created on this
earth! When we pay attention, really pay attention, we can get what each other
are often about by just watching. Watch how someone moves, is it stiff or are
they free flowing? Also there’s their energy - does their energy feel heavy and
could command even the ants and the ants would even listen? Or are they so light
and gentle that even a butterfly would land in their hand? Watching people you
can also find out some of their behaviors; and through the behavior there are
beliefs, and most of the time that behavior is the root to their belief.
I believe my gift is to help
people, pull them out of the dark, clear their beliefs from their behaviors, then
set them on the right course to find themselves and their gifts. We all have a
gift of some sort; we all are worthy of these gifts if we are wanting them and
are striving for them. Often people think that they have to be perfect in order
to help others. Often I hear, “Who am I to say what people should or shouldn’t
be working on, when I have problems myself?” We rise as we lift others. If we
all stayed at the same state then who would be the leader out of the darkness?
No one would and we’d all be lost in the dark.
Watching babies and older
people is my most favorite. Babies are just beginning this life and have a
fresh outlook and it’s so fun to watch their discovery. 18 months is my
favorite age to start watching this. You can also tell what type of personality
or beliefs they have just by watching them because they don’t have habits
formed yet. Older people are fascinating because they are towards the end of
their life and it’s neat to see the wisdom in their face of all that they have
learned while here in this mortality, I love to sit and ask them questions or
just listen because they have something to teach us, their wisdom is valuable whether
for the good or for the bad. I
love learning from others. It has always filled my soul with delight!
We are taught that judging is
wrong. We have to know that we don’t remember who we once were before we came
to this earth; therefore, we come here as a continuation of who we once were.
So to judge us just by our earthly state is wrong. Only God remembers who we
once were and saw what we were capable of, and therefore gave each of us
according to how we were, assignments or Foreordinations to fulfill while here
on this earth.
A lot of times our spirits
know what we are supposed to be doing but our carnal state fights against it.
We would get over some of them if we turn towards our gifts. With permission
and not giving names, I told a client that if he turned towards his gifts and
who he naturally is supposed to be, then he will get over his diabetes. It’s
been six months and he’s now off his medication with occasional low blood
sugar, what progress!
The question I often get is
how do we know what our gifts are? Well, it’s simple, yet complicated. Take a
good look at your self - the things that we usually have a hard time with are
the things that we are naturally gifted at. Let me say that again. The things (we
THINK) we are not good at we are actually gifted at. I never thought I was good
with people and I had a hard time with people as I got older and would judge
them often, partly because of how I was raised, but because I had a fear of
being judged, I in turn judged others to keep myself safe. So the things we
hold near and dear like our abilities to see others for more than what they are
(and then judging them at the same time like my problem) than eliminating the
judging part and I have my gift! Are you with me? I love to watch people, and
when I got older and I did judge. When I was younger my intentions were more
pure, but as I developed bad habits, I judged as I watched people. So by me
working on my gifts I had to eliminate the judging part in order to find my
gifts. We all have abilities but just like everything else in this world it can
be used for bad and create bad memories, (which can be used as a tool against
us so that we cannot find our gifts) and we are left swirling around in the
darkness, which was Satan’s plan from the beginning.
So we have to let down our
ego as our self defense and allow our gifts to flow within us and become the
person we where meant to be. I BELIEVE IN YOU!
