Being Perfect

This blog Post is dedicated to all my wonderful friends/clients.  I truly have the best friends and clients. I am one lucky girl.  It is no coincidence that God placed each person in my life to learn from and be a small part of their lives and to watch them grow and me growing with them. It is a miracle to watch someone go from the infancy stage of their learning and growing, to becoming, to listening to their spirit and growing on a deeper level, and making huge strides in their own lives and paying attention to their spirit. I truly feel like I was blessed with the gift of just being their guide because the true healing process happens when they actually move and start making the changes happen, little by little in their own lives. What I do does not take away agency; it makes agency clearer.  It removes the stuff that makes our agency harder to understand and want to attain. We are all powerhouses in our own lives. We can become as long as we have the drive, the will and the strength to “become” and strive for the beauty within.  We can do this by removing all doubts and fears and start recognizing things in our own lives.

Our spirits naturally want to perfect the things that are in this life. Before we came here, I am sure that at some point we were not sure about this life. Not just for the mere fact that we were coming and would not remember who we once were, but for the fact that the testing part would be accepting the imperfectness of this life. We would be tested by the reality that things would not always be resolved, that things would not always be smooth and that we would not be able to fix everything that was broken. There would be broken hearts and the constant why’s and doors still left wide open never to have complete closure.  We constantly are searching for more answers. 

 This life is so personal and often we don’t treat is as such. We believe that we are on this great and vast earth to do everything for others. I had a good friend who had a near death experience and she said that she was given a choice to go back to earth. She wanted to go back because she had a husband and five children that she needed to get back to and she said that she felt panicked, because she needed to get back to them! The angel that was talking with her gave her a condition that she could go back only if she would agree to go back only for her self. She could not go back for her husband or her children, she could only go back if she agreed to go back to fulfill why she had come to earth and stop living life for her husband and children and quite often forgetting about herself. She said that she did not feel ready to die which made it more hard on her to even want to stay but upon hearing the angel tell her that she wasn’t even living her life the way that she should, she knew that she needed to make some changes. Because she was making those changes in her life, her children that were struggling started to change because they noticed the changes she was making in her own life.

Often we want to be all the players on the basketball team or any team. Pick your favorite sport if you will and imagine what position you are trying to play. Are you the player for your team or are you the coach? Often we as mothers/fathers/wives/husbands, want to get in there and manhandle what we feel is not getting enough attention and try to manipulate what needs to be “fixed”. This is impossible for us to accomplish and do on our own. We are not all the players on the team, we are not the whole game itself.   If we all imagined ourselves only the coach on that team we would all be happier and have more success in our lives as families etc. Tell yourself that you are not allowed even on the court or field.  You are only supposed to teach, inspire and uplift whenever it is needed.  This is the control behind the strong desire to perfect things going on in and around us in our lives. Often this strong desire is actually a selfish desire to not want to watch someone struggle or fall.  Falling and Failing is good! We want this for some so that they can struggle, fall and then the miracle of getting back up and dusting themselves off and saying, “where do I go from here?” That’s when we are inspired to step in and show the way, point out what they’ve learned and help show them the way out.  When we put too many “pillows” or “cushions” underneath someone that is rebelling or fighting, then they won’t know how bad it really is without those pillows or cushions and the fall will be hard and they will tend to blame God more! They will find out though through experience. We are also sending a generational message to them that they are not capable of doing things on their own and that they need others to get them through. We naturally have a fear of doing things in this life alone out of fear of getting what we have been assigned to do wrong. So in turn we need someone to link arms with and journey through this life with, “x-ing out” the relationship with our Heavenly Father. This life is very personal and we must do it alone with the help not of flesh, but the help of God. And if it means inspire someone to help us, then we are to assist, but not do it for them, or want someone to do it for us.

We are all diamonds in the rough.  We look like large rocks at first but just as there are facets to a diamond with each thing that we learn and do, we are put through the trial (fire) and are polished and then we move on to another facet, until we have created a beautiful life as we learn from and move on from each trial. When we don’t want to learn - that’s when we become stuck and unable to move and change. This is a natural process and some fight it more than others. Be kind and know that we all have what we can handle as “reality” in our lives.  As we search, learn, and change our attitudes of, why me and why now, we can change those attitudes to, “What would God have me to learn from this?” I have a client named Roxanne who was looking for answers about when the trial that she is currently going through would end and how to tell when it was God’s timing on this. She received the most profound answer to which she was seeking. She received the answer that God’s timing is found within the Six days that Christ and Adam created the earth.  So each day represents our days of trial and God’s timing on the trial.  The work and learning and then the seventh day we rest from our labors for a “SEASON”; not forever, but for a season.  So what does each day represent? The first four days that is talks about in the Bible, I noticed were the most labor intensive part of the creation. Isn’t it that way when we are going through a trial that at the very beginning we are found most of the time on our knees, asking for direction, asking for help? Then the last few days we are starting to understand and gaining further light and knowledge, the learning part, and then resting from our labors for a season. I thought that was truly profound!

As we become adults our deeper understanding and learning should come from God.  We should be moving away from our earthly parents and what I mean by that is that our attention should be more focused on God and what our relationship is with him.

Here’s a story from one of my clients who gained a better relationship and literally becoming the light and the way out of dysfunction by gaining a better sense of who she is by gaining a personal relationship with God. Her name is Kynessa:

         I recall being a rebellious young adult embarking on my journey to learn more about God. Even though I knew very little about who He was, I would always pray even for the wrong things. It's funny because even during the darkest seasons of my life God always put someone in my life to teach me Principles of living a Godly life. Once I started learning more about God I began developing my own relationship with Him- joining a church and doing a little reading.

          Fast-forward 2-3 years later; I met someone who told me "you're the chosen one for your family ". I didn't know what she meant, but I was afraid that it meant I would be used as a sacrifice for my Family. It took 14 years before I would see how what she professed would manifest in my life.

          I always knew I was different from the others in my family- but not in the manner of being better than them. It wasn't until I understood the calling God placed on my life that I understood why I was so different. Every trial has built character and brought me closer to my Creator precisely for me to fulfill my purpose. As always God has someone sowing into my life to assist with maturing my spirit. At each level of maturity I gain more clarity about who God created me to be and I become much stronger in my faith. I never thought the test would be stepping away from my family. That rebellious young adult has matured into a God fearing rebel and being used to end generational curses in my family.

        Adam came to this earth not remembering at first who he was and that he just helped create this earth.  What a wonderful thing that he just did and he didn’t even remember! How many of us did wonderful things to help with the kingdom of God and we cannot even remember.  But as Adam walked and talked with God and came to know him, he in turn got to know himself and what his goal was here and what he was to accomplish.  As we walk and talk with God we too will get to know ourselves as we get to know him.